I am perfectly imperfect

I found this quote, "Thank GOD , I am perfectly imperfect" on the wall at the bar when I was twenty years old.  I still remember how hard my heart pounded and how I almost cried.   I was still a girl, and I hated myself and hated the world.

I learned how to smile, studied philosophy and buddhism, and became a yoga teacher.  I practiced hard because I wanted to be happy perfectly.  I thought, "I should be happy because I study and practice so hard."  The more I practiced, the more disappointed I became with my imperfection. I forbade myself to feel negative emotions.  I ignored them,  but they were still there. For a long time, I always smiled as if to say, "I am happy".   I believed that people would never trust me again if they knew my anxiety.

Now I allow myself to get upset, be lazy or stupid, to go nuts and act like a bitch sometimes.... I am perfectly imperfect.  I am here for you just like you are here for me.  We are equally beautiful and in agreement. I am here for you because you are my teacher and you are me.