I am perfectly imperfect

I found this quote, "Thank GOD , I am perfectly imperfect" on the wall at the bar when I was twenty years old.  I still remember how hard my heart pounded and how I almost cried.   I was still a girl, and I hated myself and hated the world.

I learned how to smile, studied philosophy and buddhism, and became a yoga teacher.  I practiced hard because I wanted to be happy perfectly.  I thought, "I should be happy because I study and practice so hard."  The more I practiced, the more disappointed I became with my imperfection. I forbade myself to feel negative emotions.  I ignored them,  but they were still there. For a long time, I always smiled as if to say, "I am happy".   I believed that people would never trust me again if they knew my anxiety.

Now I allow myself to get upset, be lazy or stupid, to go nuts and act like a bitch sometimes.... I am perfectly imperfect.  I am here for you just like you are here for me.  We are equally beautiful and in agreement. I am here for you because you are my teacher and you are me.   

Time Tested Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of each of your arms.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.

Sam Levenson



No,6 Develop Rituals -- from 12 essential rules to live more like a Zen monk (from secular persepective)

Zen monks have rituals for many things they do, from eating to cleaning to meditation. Ritual gives something a sense of importance - if it's important enough to have a ritual, it's important enough to be given your entire attention, and to be done slowly and correctly. You don't have to learn the Zen monk rituals - you can create your own, for the preparation of food , for eating, for cleaning, for what you do when you wake up and before you go to bed, for what you do just before exercise. Anything you want, really.

The key is , to be mindful and to enjoy what you do and do not judge yourself if you brake the rituals :) 

No,5 Put Space Between Things -- from 12 essential rules to live like a Zen monk (From secular perspective)

Put space between things 

Related to the "Do less" rule, but it's a way of managing your schedule so that you always have time to complete each task. Don't schedule things close together - instead, leave room between things on your schedule. That gives you a more relaxed schedule, and leaves space in case one task takes longer than you planned.

This is very hard one for me and might you too. We are so addicted to scare free time with no companies and no plans. Fill the empty slot of your time like playing "Tetris"....... It's totally OK there is no game over with having empty space!

No,4 Do less --from 12 essential rules to live more like a Zen monk (from a secular perspective)

Do less

A Zen monk doesn't lead lazy life : he wakes early and has day filled with work.

However, he doesn't have an unending task list either - there are certain things he's going to do today, and no more. If you do less, you can do those things more slowly, more completely and with more concentration. If you fill your day with tasks, you will be rushing from one thing to the next without stopping to think about what you do.

Keep yourself make busy is kind of mental laziness. It makes you to stop thinking and running on the hamster wheel which doesn't take you anywhere. Thinking where is your intention. 

No,3 Do it Completely --from 12 essential rules to live more like a Zen monk (from a secular perspective)

Do it completely

Put your mind completely on the task. Don't move o to the next task until you're finished. If, for some reason, you have no choice but to move on to something else, try to at least put away the unfinished task and clean up after yourself. If you prepare a sandwich, don't start eating it until you've put away the stuff you used to prepare it, wiped down the counter, and washed the dishes used for preparation. Then you're done with that task, and can focus more completely on the next task.

To make clean your view around you as to clean your mind, you can see further with concentration. 

No,2 Do It Slowly and Deliberately --from 12 essential rules to live more like Zen monk(from a secular perspective)

Do it slowly and deliberately.

You can do one task at a time, but also rush that task. Instead, take your time , and move slowly.  Make your actions deliberate, not rushed and random. It takes practice, but it helps you focus on the task.

This is important considering every thing you do and know what you really do. Finding joy and it's become your meditation.

12 Essential Rules to Live More Like a Zen Monk ( from secular persepective)

Smile, breath and go slowly    -    Thich Nhat Hanh

Since I started practice ZEN , I've been following these simple ideas for how to live in my life as who I am. 

 I will share the one at each time of these 12 rules come from my mentor David Zimmerman   published by Leo Babauta / Zen Habits Blog

I'm not a Zen monk, nor will I ever become one. However, I find great inspiration in the way they try to live their lives. The simplicity of their lives. The concentration and mindfulness of every activity, the calm and peace they find in their days.

You probably don't want become a Zen monk either, but you can live your life in a Zen-like manner by following a few simple rules.

Why live more like a Zen monk? Because who among us can't use a little more concentration, tranquility, and mindfulness in our live? Because Zen monks for hundreds of years have devoted their lives to being present in everything they do, to being dedicated and to serving others. Because it serves as an example for our lives, and whether we ever really reach thet idea is not the point.

However, I am not a Zen master..... I've found that there are certain principles that can be applied to any life, no matter what your religious beliefs or what your standard of living.

Zen is not some kind of excitement, but concentration on our usual everyday routine                    -     Shunryu Suzuki


1. Do one thing at a time                                                                                                                             

 This rule is a part of the life of a Zen monk : single task, don't multi - task. When you're pouring water, just pour water. When you're eating, just eat. When you're bathing, just bathe. Don't try to knock off few tasks while eating or bathing. Zen proverb : " When walking, walk. When eating ,eat"

Next one coming soon .... yes I do one thing at the time as Zen :)



Quotes - Clarice Lispector

This  very beautiful poem by Brazilian writer Clarice Lispector found me right moment in  my life.  The strong emotion shook me up with pain at the beginning and then I found myself very strong, accepted  who I am.  " You can even throw me from a mountain peak and I will tell you, so what, I love flying!"        The life always entertain us spectacularly.   It's ok not to be happy all the time. Your perfectness included everything. Go a head to be crazy, wimpy and shitty! Just enjoy everything that is the reason we are here in this world. Come back to your center we can flying we love flying it is meditation.

Quotes - Clarice Lispector

I have hidden a love fearing to lose it;
I have lost a love because I hid it.
I held the hands of someone because I feared;
I have feared so much that I barely felt my hands.
I have ostracized people I loved from my life;
I have regretted it.
I have passed nights crying until I slept;
I have gone to sleep so happy that I couldn't keep my eyes closed.
I have believed in perfect love;
I have discovered it doesn't exist.
I have loved people that failed me;
I have failed people that loved me. 
I have passed many hours in front of the mirror trying to discover who I am;
I have had such a certainty of me that I wanted to disappear.
I have lied and regretted afterwards,
I have spoken the truth and also regretted it.
I have pretended to not give importance to people I loved,
Then, later I cried alone in a corner.
I have smiled while tears of sadness blurred my eyes,
I have cried because I laughed so hard. 
I have believed in people that were not worthy it,
I have not believed in people that were.
I had laughter fits when I couldn't.
I have broken glasses, plates and vases because I was angry.
I have longed for someone and never told the person.
I have screamed when I should have been quiet;
I have been quiet when I should scream.
Many times I didn't speak my mind to be agreeable to some;
Other times, I said things I didn't believe to hurt others.
I have pretended to be someone I am not to be agreeable to some;
I have pretended to be someone I am not to be disagreeable to others.
I have told bad jokes after bad jokes just to see a friend happy;
I have created stories with a happy ending just to give hope to someone that needed it.
I have dreamed so much that I have mistaken dreams with reality.
I have feared the darkness;
Now in the darkness I find myself, I crouch, and stay there.
I have fallen many times thinking I would never rise back.
I have risen many times thinking I would never fall again.
I have called people I didn't want to call;
Just so I wouldn't call those I did want to call.
I have ran, following a car, because it was taken away someone I loved.
I have called my mommy in the middle of the night, because of a nightmare.
But she didn't come and it was an even worse nightmare.
I have called close people of friends and I discovered they were not friends.
Other people I have never called anything and they were always special in my life.
Don't give me formulas to do what is right; I don't expect to be always right.
Don't show me what you expect from me, because I will always follow my heart.
Don't make me to be what I am not; don't invite me to be an equal, because honestly I am different. I don't know how to love half; I don't know how to live a lie; I don't know how to fly with my feet in the ground.
I am always me; but certainly I am not going to be always the same.
I like the slower poisons, the bitterest drinks, the most powerful drugs, the craziest ideas, the most complex thoughts, and the stronger feelings. I have a huge appetite and crazy deliriums. You can even throw me from a mountain peak and I will tell you, so what, I love flying!